Mathematic Equations
by ionizable
Summary: James asks Remus for help concerning Lily. What else would he get but a logical reasoning of what he could do?


Mathematic Equations

_**James, **_Remus, **Sirius, **_Peter_, Lily

A/N: um, so, several years later, i came back to fix the equal signs because they disappeared. and that is all.

* * *

If James is an arrogant prick, then the equation (GoalJ EQUALS James + Lily), where GoalJ is dating, would not be correct if Lily was given as a completely impatient role model.

Knowing that, we can substitute the following:

Dating DOES NOT EQUAL (arrogant prick) + (completely impatient role model)

Seeing the above equation as such would prove that with the variables being as they are, there would be a 0 percent chance of GoalJ. Rather, it would make much more sense for the right-hand expression to equal GoalL if GoalL were to equal the opposite of GoalJ. That is, -dating, or in literal terms, (no chance of) dating.

Therefore, _if_ it is the wish of both parties to achieve GoalJ with minimal changes, the variables each have two options. They can either change to the opposite integer, or remain as they are now. That brings the total of possible outcomes to four.

Once again, the current equation as situations stand now is:

GoalL EQUALS James + Lily

* * *

Possibility Number One

Neither changes, life moves on.

Probability: 99.9 percent.

_**You idiot, Remus, **__**stop skewing the info**__**!**_

Probability: changed to 15 percent.

* * *

Possibility Number Two

We start off with the original equation, that is:

GoalL EQUALS James + Lily

If "James" were to change to the opposite integer, it would appear as such:

-James

However, if we add a negative to one side, we must add it to the other in order to balance out the equation. Therefore, the equation would look like this:

-GoalL EQUALS -James + Lily

A -GoalL is equivalent to GoalJ. Therefore, we have reached our goal **– or so it seems. Due to unknown forces that simply state that things must be this way, you must add certain items because of…the unbalancing of the cosmos that may occur if you don't!**

**Then, the equation MUST look like this!**

**(GoalJ)/2 ****EQUALS ****-James + (Lily + 2A)**

**If "A" were already given as alcohol, then "2A" means that you gotta booze her up!**** A lot!**** Of course, that only gives you half of your…er, did you say objective, Moony?**

Yes. This above equation means that if you sweep a drunken "Lily" off her feet with your debonair gentlemanly charm, you will get only half of your objective.

_**What's that supposed to mean?**_

Your result here would be as such: Extreme Snogging—

_**Ohhh! I like that!**_

—for one night.

_**I don't want that! No! No! No!**_

**I rather like that idea. Hmm.**** Can I borrow this?**

…Probability: 69 percent.

* * *

Possibility Number Three

Let us begin with our original equation once again.

GoalL EQUALS James + Lily

Now, if "James" was to remain the same, and "Lily" was to change to the opposite for some unknown reason, the equation would be as follows.

GoalL EQUALS James + (-Lily)

That equals:

-GoalL EQUALS James – Lily

Which also equals:

GoalJ EQUALS James – Lily

**So basically what that means is that if you leave her alone while you're still an arrogant prick and somehow she changes…miraculously, might I add…then ****you'll end up together****? Geez. If a "James" without "Lily" means them dating, it probably also means annoyed friends because he****'ll**** keep bugging them ****for lack of better things to do****.**

How astute of you, Padfoot. Yes, I believe that indeed would be true.

Therefore, a byproduct of this equation would be our extreme exasperation.

_**Hmm…**_

Probability: 1 percent.

_**What? Why only 1?**_

**Because you never give up, James.**

Thank you, Sirius.

* * *

Possibility Number Four

Now, this is the la

_**Uh, Remus, we're gonna be done soon, right? I'm getting bored.**_

**Yeah, Moony, when're you gonna finish?**

As I was saying, this is the last possibility. This is another one of the wonders of math. All I know is that if "James" becomes an opposite integer and "Lily" does as well, you will achieve GoalJ. Don't ask how this works out. Like I said, it's another mystery of math and science and the universe.

Probability: 16 percent.

* * *

Now that you've seen your options, I hope you feel better informed as to

_**Alright, you can stop with the **__**big words**__** now, **__**~Professor Lupin~**__**.**_

**Hmm. Personally, I'd go for option two.**

_**Shut up. I know you'd go for that.**_

_I think number three's good…__ I__ kinda didn't understand most of this…._

Wormtail. That has a 1 percent chance.

_Oh…__ is that bad?_

Don't laugh, Sirius, that's not nice.

_**What about you, Remus? What do you suggest? I need your input.**_

Number one, because then you'd stop bugging us – namely, me.

_**Haha. I don't think so.  
**_

So, which one?

**James?**

James?

_Sirius, is something wrong with him…?_

**Stop being an i****diot**** and pick one already.**

_**Ow. **__**You didn't have to hit me. But number four sounds fun!**_

**What? Why?**

_**I like mysteries.**_

Eh?

_**That's why I like Evans.**_

...

**_That was smooth, right? You think I could try out a line like that on her?_**

I give up.

**_But I'd need to lead her into talking about mysteries. Hmm. How do you think I coul_**

Why're you all writing on this piece of parchment? Oh, you're planning another prank, aren't you? Aren't you? I'd read what's written on here except it's kind of hard to read while you're writing, y'know? Hey, why's my name on h

Run! WITH the parchment, Sirius!

You know, if you say it first, then I hear it. Wait, where are y


End file.
